篇名: 5 Love Language (尚未分類)
作者: ----- 日期: 2011.06.16 天氣: 心情:[:D]
來到愛情公寓網站的人,有的是純為交友,有的是為打發時間,但絕大多數都是希望能在此遇上知音或一生的伴侶,這其中有年輕人,有中年未婚者,也有像我一樣離婚的,儘管每人年齡情況不同,不論個人目的是為純交友,還是為找對象,我想分享給大家我最近閱讀一本書的內容重點!
這本書是美國有名的兩性及家庭諮詢專家Gary Chapman所寫的"The 5 Love Languages". 以下簡單用中文翻譯部分重點大意,並摘錄英文內容與眾分享,個人並認為此書內容不僅僅適用於兩性關係,更可延伸至親子或交友關係,甚而發揮用於上司下屬及人際交往上!一本好書,一種觀念,決不能死板的認知,而領悟與吸收及運用之道人人是不同的,希望各位能喜歡!
"Love is the most important word", thus "the need to feel loved is a primary human emotional need". Inside every one, there is an emotional tank waiting to be filled with love. "When we meet someone whose physical characteristics and personality traits create enough electrical shock to trigger our "love alert" system, most of us feel the in-love experience. How about the reality intrudes? During the in-love stage, we felt all of those emotions. It was heavenly while it lasted. Our mistake was in thinking it would last forever. The obsession was not meant to last forever. Remember, we are 2 individuals. When our minds have not melted together, we began the hard work of learning to love each other. Some people resign themselves to a life of misery with their companion, or jump ship and try again. Actually, "love is an attitude with appropriate behavior. "How do we meet each other s deep emotional need to feel loved? If we can learn that and choose to do it, then the love we share will be exciting beyond anything we ever felt when we were infatuated." To find out and to meet what our loved one need for his/her love languages is the essential attitude to keep for love. We all need one or more of these 5 love languages: WORDS OF AFFIRMATION, QUALITY TIME, RECEIVING GIFTS, ACT OF SERVICE, AND PHYSICAL TOUCH. Everyone s primary need is different. To effctively and consistently find out and make each other feel truly and deeply loved is essential to hold a priceless advantage for love.
愛是最重要的語言,因此需要被愛感是人類最重要的情感. 每個人內在都有一個情感漕等待被愛充填,當我們碰到外觀個人特質足夠引起觸電引發愛意時,多數人都有墜入愛河的經驗!然而介入現實生活後呢?在熱戀時期,我們所有的感受都是感情都是愛,像天堂像在雲端般美好!這時候人們最大的錯誤是以為這種感情可以持續永久,事實上身陷愛河的迷戀感是不會永遠持續的! 要記得一定是兩個個體,當兩人思緒想法不能完全融合,就會開始很辛苦的持續愛對方的熱誠. 有些人認命的放棄自己去遷就對方悲慘生活著,有人乾脆換搭另一條船重新來過! 然而"愛"其實是一種恰當行為的態度!我們如何能夠符合滿足另一半內心真正想要的被愛感?如果我們能學習並選擇正確,那麼彼此分享的愛的興奮會遠超越任何熱戀時期的感覺!找出並且滿足我們所愛人需要的愛的語言是維持愛的基本態度! 每個人都有一項最重要的感到被愛感的語言,再來依個人需要分比重: 被肯定,有品質的相處時間,接受禮物的愉悅,對方為己服勞的開心,以及實際的肢體接觸(如擁抱親吻)
這五種愛的語言人人都需要,但是也許排序不同,如何有效且不斷得找出所愛的需要是維繫深刻愛情的無價的條件!
PS: 記得不同時期需要也許會有所改變,如熱戀期,婚後,為人父母,年長後,祝大家都能找到幸福!
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